1.) In the company of
females, intercourse should be referred to as:
a) lovemaking
b) screwing
c) the pigskin bus pulling into
tuna town
2.) You should make love to a woman for
the first time only after you've
both shared:
a) your views
about what you expect from a sexual relationship
b) your blood-test results
c) five tequila slammers
3.) You time your orgasm so that:
a) your
partner climaxes first
b) you both climax simultaneously
c) you don't miss Sports Center
4.) Passionate, spontaneous sex on the
kitchen floor is:
a) healthy, creative love-play
b) not the sort of thing your
wife/girlfriend would ever agree to
c) not the sort of thing your
wife/girlfriend need ever find out about
5.) Spending the whole night cuddling a
woman you've just had sex with is:
a) the best
part of the experience
b) the second best part of the
experience
c) $100 extra
6.) Your girlfriend says she's gained
five pounds in the last month. You
tell her that it is:
a) No concern
of yours
b) not a problem, she can join your
gym
c) a conservative estimate
7.) You think today's sensitive, caring
man is:
a) a myth
b) an oxymoron
c) a moron
8.) Foreplay is to sex as:
a) appetizer
is to entree
b) primer is to paint
c) a line is to an amusement park
ride
9.) Which of the following are you most
likely to find yourself saying at
the end of a relationship?
a) "I hope we
can still be friends."
b) "I'm not in right now, please
leave a message at the beep."
c) "Welcome to Dumpsville;
population, YOU."
10.) A woman who is uncomfortable
watching you masturbate:
a) probably
needs a little more time before she can cope with
that sort of intimacy.
b) is uptight and a waste of time
c) shouldn't have sat next to you
on the bus in the first place
Evaluating the results:
If you
answered "a" more than 7 times, check your pants to make
Sure you really are a man.
If you answered "b" more than 7
times, check into therapy, you're
More Than a little confused.
If you answered "c" more than 7
times, "YOU DA MAN!"
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